I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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