i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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