the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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