I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
