There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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