Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
