i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
NoShamevember. You game?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
