My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
