On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize