dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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