Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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