oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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