i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize