I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
