So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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