so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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