so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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