sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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