No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you win again, gameday.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
