i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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