Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
