So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
