omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
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