i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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