Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
