we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
