dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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