nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
