Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
