im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
