I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
