you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
