During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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