You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
