So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Four minutes until I can fart!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
