Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter

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(212): View more from New York

I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.

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(515): View more from Iowa

On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.

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(330): View more from Ohio

i've created a new STD.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐

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