dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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