no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
