I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
