Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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