My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
