I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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