Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize