Im at strip club and am horny
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
