I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
