No stitches, just platelets and will power
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
