all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
