I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
