Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
