And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you will always have a special place in my vag
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
