im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
