and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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