; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
