God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
