so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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