Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
