It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
