is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
