Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
