alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm always down for nudity.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
