oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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