I looked at my own cervix.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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