somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
