She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
